top
logo

3 Passports

Yep. I have three passports. U.S., Canada and G.B. No, I’m not a spy except in my dreams in which I pilot my personal flying saucer.

pass-1

I love England, Canada and the USA. And wisely picked the correct grandparents so that I ended up a citizen of all three countries.

Having three passports has caused me some consternation when friends criticize any of my countries.

Recently, a British colleague made fun of California for not owning our own firefighting super duper scooper aircraft for fighting wildfires.

What we saw coming over our hill in Bel Air a few days ago. (Photo / Jonathan Mitchell.)

pass-2

…it looked worse at night. First came the water choppers to attack the hot spots…

pass-3

…and then the super scooper Canadian planes (rented) water bombed the fire and it went out.

pass-4

Here is what I emailed my colleague:

When the Nazis were about to pounce on England, the Americans and Canadians saved that tiny island country. Of course a few miles away the Irish remained neutral and many made a fortune selling fresh eggs and bacon to those who ran the British Empire. (That is a different story.)

We Americans lease the super scooper planes from Canada. Nothing wrong with that. So get over it.

As a British citizen, I say ─ remember the Americans were there when we needed their help. But they had sex with too many of our women.

As an American I say ─ let’s annex Canada. We need their oil. And Playboy gets all of its bunnies from Vancouver.

As a Canadian I say ─ no way. Let’s see if the British will help us when we are about to be invaded by those crazy Yanks. And stay out of Vancouver.

As a Yank I reply ─ don’t worry, we already own Canada and G.B.

As a Limmy I say ─ the Royals are really Germans.

As a Canuck I say ─ the problem is the French.

My wife, who is part Irish, says her forefathers should have charged more for eggs.


whooping-mooseNutgraph We Albertans slide our oil money to Quebec, they buy planes and then lease them to us in LA and our brave fire fighters squirt out the flames…who cares? Saved our asses so I will continue to pay taxes to Edmonton, in the province of my birth.

random

Type1 Type2 writer3 writer4 writer5

Click one of the above to see some of my work.

You can buy one of my novels here. If you

can't afford it, write me a funny

note and I'll send you a PDF

of the novel.


Rather than beg one million people to donate a dollar each, I'd like one billionaire (or two or even three) to simply give me a million buck$. You know who you are.

paypal

fti
fti
fti
btm