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Cell Phones & Sweet Spots

According to Michael Powell, head of the FCC, effective June 1, 2003, California will be the ninth state to ban walking while talking on a cellular phone.

Mr. Powell said the thousands of deaths caused by drivers who use cell phones is trivial in comparison to those who walk & talk.

“Over fifty thousand people are killed each year while attempting to locate the electronic sweet spot,” he said.

Dr. Donald McGoogle, of Bell Telephone Labs, defined the sweet spot as the precise location in which a cell phone receives an absolutely clear signal.

“Have you ever watched someone dart about trying to find an optimum location for their cell phone? Just when they think they have found the perfect sweet spot, they lose the signal and they’re forced to re-dart,” explained Dr. McGoogle.

Thousands have walked into moving vehicles, thousands have fallen and smashed their skulls open, and several hundred have tumbled into manholes, canyons, and sinkholes.

There are over 3,950 documented cases of cell users colliding with other cell users while attempting to take over the same sweet spot.

The electronic sweet spot shifts due to the rotation of the earth and the holes that have opened in the ozone layer. “If something is not done to stop pedestrians making cell calls, we could lose a million Americans by the end of the decade,” said the head of the FCC.

Ironically, people in moving vehicles are more likely to be in an electronic sweet spot. Dr. McGoogle claims, “the faster you drive, the greater chance you have of passing through an electronic sweet spot, thus avoiding an accident.”

For this reason, Mr. Powell always drives at 85 MPH on highway and city streets when he talks on his cell phone.

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