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Essays

Delusional Messiah

Luckily Elder Wonder discovered that AND got the girl.

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Fold Up Your Life

You can roll it up or fold it like a piece of paper.  What a brilliant idea.

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Seat Rustler

“So limp over and sit in one, you asshole.  You fucking near broke my toe.”

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Sorry To Bother You

You end up with Mastercard moments.

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BUILDING A CARROT BRIDGE

“And what happens if a herd of hypothetical rabbits shows up?”

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TAB HUNTER – HOLLYWOOD LEGEND – RIP

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DCKTZAK/ref=cm_cr_ryp_prd_ttl_sol_0

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FAKE NEWS

President Trump says he does not do Fake News and I believe him. He is making American and the world a better place and enriching this country by reaching out to the major leaders of the world. Before Mr. Tump came to power the Russians wanted to kill us. Now Putin and Trump are good […]

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Your car, the Mailbox

Amazon sneaks into your car or truck and hides your order inside your vehicle.

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You’re Fired? No. Fried!

They will strike first ….

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Would Trump lie to a dog?

If he goes unchecked Trump will fuck up the world of 2018.  No other president has had such global capacity. Trump is dangerous beyond imagination. He attacked Syria.  Then went on TV and told the world that it was pretty much of a one time warning. But can he believed?  Nope. Not in his wildest […]

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The Whooping Moose

Confusion over political correctness, vegans, vivisections, bullying and the madness of this millennium, it may be time to consider The Whooping Moose.

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Correct Use of Floss

… he could work a 30-hour day

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Long Friendship Secrets

I keep a journal since it’s fun to see what I did ten or twenty or thirty years ago. When I was a missionary I prayed each day. One day I realized that if there were a god or gods they would have stopped people from creating religions.  Any religion.   Nothing is as detrimental to […]

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Roger Moore and I were both Saints

Roger Moore and I were both Saints

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Immigration Can Save the world

Suppose you live next door to a jerk. And suppose the jerk though you were a jerk. And suppose you were both right. You bickered and swore to burn each other’s house to the ground. And you would have, except your daughter fell in love with the jerk’s son.  And miracle of miracles they had […]

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Try Laughter

Our ear ringing lessens, then miracle of miracle, stops. Laughter – best medicine!

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Chinese Egg

From the 23rd floor of the Hyatt in Shanghai my wife and I look down on the Egg. A chicken that laid such an egg would stand taller than the Statue of Liberty. Even so, you could not make an omelet large enough from that gargantuan hen to feed the 1.4 billion people in China […]

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The Sensual Pickpocket of Barcelona

Gaudi’s cathedral is a work in progress like our marriage

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Your word for today: Sam-suing

Samsung’s latest evil invention

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Why we vote the way we do ….

I would rather get some of my tiny piece of the pie back rather than giving up what little pie I have.

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Mankind: Just A Blip?

“So what are you going to do about it?” asked Donald Rabbit. “Reprogram me?”

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Spec screenplay sales – long shots, real long

— my friend, you will have a meeting that week. The single purpose in that meeting will be to meet Mr. Hopkins.

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Mother Nature Loves Hockey

Mother Nature likes hockey. I know she likes hockey because I have seen and handled the tar that holds the oil.

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Bernie Wins! Las Vegas / 6:48 pm / October 13 / 2015

My prediction — last edited 10/26/15 — Bernie will be the next US president

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a note to all housemates at 11457 78 avenue

Very good, send me a note that says: “Got it” and you can have a seven dollar latte or take that much off your rent.  The offer ends at noon MST,  June 25, 2015. Now it’s over

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Hooked on a Feeling

Boxers have left hooks and right crosses. Or is it left crosses and right hooks? Anyway, for me, there will only be one kind of hook, and that’s Charlie Taggart’s right hook. Charlie had an iron hook, the result of a boyhood flirtation with dynamite that almost blew him off the map.I will always be indebted to Charlie …

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Wild Echoes

They say nothing happens in Coronation.

They are certainly not goose hunters.

Coronation is on the fly path of millions of geese that migrate between the Arctic and Mexico each year. There were a lot when I lived there in the 50s.

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The French Questions

Although I have not spoken French for over 40 years, I remember all of it from junior high. (I was a child prodigy in romance languages.)

Even my French teacher said I had an astonishing approach to linguistics. Curious she flunked me. Jealous, no doubt.

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Good & Grim News

“I’m afraid, Mr. Evenkeel, I have both good and grim news for you,” Doctor Smith said softly to his patient.

Evenkeel, who had been an eternal (albeit annoying) optimist most of his life, swallowed, then blinked in disbelief.

The kindly doctor interlaced his fingers, rechecked his medical charts and made…

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Arrow Pounder

If you’re thinking of writing a screenplay or worse, carving out a career as a full-time screenwriter, you’re going to need an arrow pounder.

Never heard “arrow pounder” amid such notions as “plot points” and “character arcs,” have you? Trust me every screenwriter needs an arrow pounder.

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