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Oh, Baby!

I met Mr. and Mrs. Brady in their home in Las Vegas. Their four-bedroom residence had been turned into a media circus.

Baby  (3-6 Months)

As readers will recall, the Bradys made headline news when Mrs. Brady gave birth to 18 babies last month.

During our interview, haggard church and civic groups took turns feeding, diapering and burping the screaming newborns.

Following are the highlights of our interview:

Jaron:  As I understand, Mr. and Mrs. Brady, these are not your first children.

Mr. Brady:  Right. We already had six. You have no idea how difficult it is to feed, clothe, educate and entertain that many. I don’t know how we’ll handle this number of children. I’m ready to kill myself.

Mrs. Brady:  Dear, things can’t always work out the way we want them to.

Mr. Brady:  I think you’re glad we have 18 more mouths to feed. This is not what we talked about when we decided you’d get pregnant one more time.

Mrs. Brady:  It’s no one’s fault.

Mr. Brady:  It’s that damn fool doctor’s fault. Promising optimum results with those new-fangled fertility pills! I’ve a good mind to take a horsewhip to the quack.

Jaron:  I understand you’re suing him.

Mrs. Brady:  I don’t think we should. He did his best. And he gave us half our money back.

Mr. Brady:  When our lawyers finish with him, we’ll take his house and car.

Mrs. Brady:  He warned us…

Mr. Brady:  Don’t go soft on me! I’ve held down three jobs to feed the six kids we already have. It’s been three years since I had a decent night’s sleep!

Mrs. Brady:  It’s been longer for me, Dear.

Jaron:  When did you realize something was wrong?

Mr. Brady:  I should have realized it the first time we went to that doc’s office. We’re trying to get his license pulled. That fool belongs behind bars.

Mrs. Brady:  Now, Darling, that’s not fair. There are few parents in the world blessed with 24 children. And 18 kids all at once.

Jaron:  I don’t think there was any way of predicting the number…

Mr. Brady:  I should have shot the idiot. I was horrified when we saw the x-rays of her tummy.

Mrs. Brady:  It was a sonar reading.

Mr. Brady:  I don’t care what you call it!

Mrs. Brady:  It looked like we were going to have twenty. That would have been some record.

Mr. Brady:  It would have been the record. We would have gotten free food, free houses, free limos, free schooling, free nursing. We would have scored $20 million in baby food endorsements alone!

Jaron:  Yes, too bad that you didn’t beat that lady who gave birth to 19 kids all at once in Biggar, Saskatchewan. But I’m sure you’re still going to get some freebies.

Mr. Brady:  Nope. Nothing. It’s winner take all in the multiple-birth game. That dirty dog of a doctor promised us 25 kids. A world record that would have stood! We would have been on easy street forever. I suppose we could try again.

Mrs. Brady:  No.

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