Be a Millionaire
Many decent and fine folks who work from nine to five, seven days a week, will NEVER retire.
They spend all their paychecks on food, clothing and housing. By the 22nd of each month, they run out of money and are forced to assume MASSIVE credit card DEBT to survive until their next meager paycheck.
On the other hand, people who have large companies earn enough money in the first six seconds of each month to allow them to LIVE COMFORTABLY for the rest of the year. By working another nine seconds, they can afford trips to Europe, private schools for their kids and divorce attorneys.
Within 10 years, the average person will run out of MONEY by the 9th of the month but the SUPER RICH will only have to work four seconds a year in order to ski the entire winter in Switzerland.
The question you are no doubt asking yourself is, “How can I start to make GOBS of MONEY so I can LAUGH at people who have to work all year long?”
I am not bragging but once I WAS LIKE YOU. Trapped in an economic web of despair. Now I have three mansions, six expensive sport cars, oodles of money in the bank and a wife who loves me. I have my own private jet and indentured SERVANTS who suck up to me.
I achieved complete economic freedom by discovering a few MAGICAL but simple RULES of investing. These same rules can easily be applied to your pathetic life and in addition to making you economically RICH, they can make you spiritually RICH. Think of it, total peace of mind and enough money to SCOFF at all your poor friends.
Now, if you are even halfway intelligent, you will be asking yourself: where did Jaron Summers get his magical but simple rules from?
Jaron Summers got his rules after he was even more broke than you are. Often Jaron Summers ran out of money by the first week of each month and found himself assuming massive credit card debt until he went bankrupt and lived on the street. It was on the street that a leprechaun gave Jaron Summers three SECRET but simple rules that allowed him to become a multimillionaire.
Why have you not heard of these magical but simple rules before? Because rich people, who only work six or seven seconds a year, do not want to share these rules. They only talk to each other about these magical but simple rules when poor people are out of the room.
Once you know these rules, Jaron Summers promises you that you can achieve TOTAL economic freedom and within 30 days you will be able to talk about yourself in the third person. After all, it is your God-given right to be RICHER and HAPPIER than others who will not READ THIS!
So pick up the phone and dial: SOB-I-AM-BROKE! One of the many very skinny people who works, nine to five, for Jaron Summers, will take your credit card number and send you Jaron Summers’s WEALTH-building kit that contains his magical but simple rules in BOLDFACE.
Jaron Summers realizes you might have some doubts about assuming more credit card debt. So Jaron Summers will tell you FOR FREE what his first rule is. Jaron Summers will give you that rule because he LOVES you and wants you to be RICH. But Jaron Summers wants you to promise that after you learn the first rule you will call his toll-free number.
Here is the first magical but simple rule: Become a LIAR.
Now PICK UP THE PHONE and DIAL it, you poor, simple-minded, desperate soul.
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You can buy one of my novels here. If you
can't afford it, write me a funny
note and I'll send you a PDF
of the novel.
Rather than beg one million people to donate a dollar each, I'd like one billionaire (or two or even three) to simply give me a million buck$. You know who you are.