As my many followers (six) and fans (four) know Donald Trump often phones me for guidance.
I decided to record our conversations to save NSA from doing it. In California it’s okay to record your side of a phone call.
Following is my one-sided exchange with the president of these United States. I substituted “yadie” for what President Trump said. You’ll get the gist of his remarks from my answers.
Me: I think, Sir, that we have twenty MOABs. Why?
The President: yadie, yadie, yadie.
Me: I get it, you want to crazy glue all our MOABs together to make a big explosion. One that would obliterate Pyongyang, and its four million residents?
The President: Yadie, yadie, yadie … followed by hysterical mirth.
Me: That would prove you’re a tough guy, hands down, but Crazy Kim Jong-un, who runs North Korea and goes to the same hair stylists as you do, would retaliate. He has the 4th largest army in the world.
The President: Yadie?
Me: He could wipe out Seoul which has about 50,000,000 South Koreans. Plus we have thousands of Americans along the border of South Korea.
The President: Yadie?
Me: The Americans are part of our army.
The President: Yadie?
Me: How close is South Korea to North Korea, Sir? It’s about one inch.
The President: Yadie? (Followed by muffled cussing.)
Me: I’m pretty sure about the one inch. I was just looking at an aerial view in National Geographic.
The President: Yadie?
Me: It’s a magazine, Sir. It comes out every month.
The President: Yadie?
Me: That’s another bold move, Sir. But if you blew up the magazine’s main office, you might destroy a good deal of Washington, DC.
…to be continued