One Inch from the end

As my many followers (six) and fans (four) know Donald Trump often phones me for guidance.

I decided to record our conversations to save NSA from doing it. In California it’s okay to record your side of a phone call.

Following is my one-sided exchange with the president of these United States. I substituted “yadie” for what President Trump said.  You’ll get the gist of his remarks from my answers.

Me: I think, Sir, that we have twenty MOABs.  Why?

The President:  yadie, yadie, yadie.

Me: I get it, you want to crazy glue all our MOABs together to make a big explosion.  One that would obliterate Pyongyang, and its four million residents?



The President: Yadie, yadie, yadie … followed by hysterical mirth.

Me: That would prove you’re a tough guy, hands down, but Crazy Kim Jong-un, who runs North Korea and  goes to the same hair stylists as you do, would retaliate.  He has the 4th largest army in the world.

The President: Yadie?

Me: He could wipe out Seoul which has about 50,000,000 South Koreans.  Plus we have thousands of Americans along the border of South Korea.

The President: Yadie?

Me: The Americans are part of our army.

The President: Yadie?

Me: How close is South Korea to North Korea, Sir?  It’s about one inch.

The President: Yadie?  (Followed by muffled cussing.)

Me: I’m pretty sure about the one inch.  I was just looking at an aerial view in National Geographic.

The President: Yadie?

Me: It’s a magazine, Sir.  It comes out every month.

The President: Yadie?

Me:  That’s another bold move, Sir.  But if you blew up the magazine’s main office, you might destroy a good deal of Washington, DC.



…to be continued

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Jaron Summers wrote dozens of primetime television and radio programs, including those for HBO, CBS, ACCESS TV and CBC. He conceived the TV and Film Institute of Canada. Funded by the University of Alberta and ITV, Jaron ran the Institute for 12 years, donating his services for a decade.

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