Roof Rat

Notes from the homeowner – I heard scratching noises above the ceiling tiles. The roof rat was back. There was a hole in the wall by the top of the bookcase that looked like the access that the rat used. I placed glue-pads on the bookcase

Notes from the homeowner —

I heard scratching noises above the ceiling tiles.

The roof rat was back. There was a hole in the wall by the top of the bookcase that looked like the access that the rat used. I placed glue-pads on the bookcase so that when the rat came out it would step on them and be caught. I planned to drown the stuck rat.

I hid behind the sofa. After twenty minutes the rat poked his head out of the hole. He tentatively reached out a paw and gingerly tested the surface of the glue pads. The instant that the pad clung to his paw, he pulled his paw back and disappeared.

Five minutes later his head reappeared…the rat gently pushed the glue pads aside so he could walk between them. He scurried away.

I sealed the hole and set large quick kill rat traps around the house.

When I woke up the next morning the cheese had been stolen from all of the traps.

I was late for an appointment and went to the garage.

Some practical joker had moved all of my glue pads in the night. They were positioned so I would step on them when I got into my car.

I tripped on a couple and ruined a new pair of shoes since the practical joker had mixed rat nuggets with the glue surface of the pads.

Note to company from Pest Control agent —

This is the third time I have checked the homeowner’s premises for rodents. There were no signs of rat droppings other than on the shoes of the homeowner. It is obvious he is tracking in rat droppings from the garage.

This area is not covered under our pest control contract. I suggest that the company sends the owner an expanded contract to include his garage and yard.

Notes from the rat —

I could smell the homeowner farting around in his living room and then I saw him place sticky traps at my entrance. I moved the traps and after the homeowner went to sleep, I ate the cheese from the quick kill traps.

I don’t think it was very nice of the homeowner to try and kill me.

I notice that the homeowner had made a note for an early morning appointment which I think will involve using his car. He will be half asleep. I will wake him up.

By the way, the homeowner is still trying to catch me with cheese bait. It tastes good but it’s constipating.

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jaron

Jaron Summers wrote dozens of primetime television and radio programs, including those for HBO, CBS, ACCESS TV and CBC. He conceived the TV and Film Institute of Canada. Funded by the University of Alberta and ITV, Jaron ran the Institute for 12 years, donating his services for a decade.

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