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Joe and Me

President Joe Biden and I have things in common. We are each 78. We eat breakfast with our wives. We think the same.

With my aptitude for strategic thought I too could have become president.

Before his inauguration President-elect Biden’s guardians requested 25 thousand National Guard soldiers for a sleep-over.

I was not that edgy but just in case some MAGAs dropped by, the ones with pointed heads and fangs, I nailed our front door shut.See how alike the president and I are?

On inauguration day at 4 AM my wife, Kate, and I checked CNN and Fox for signs of a second dust-up at the Capitol.Things were calm as the new president and I had predicted … America now has a dynamite president and astonishing vice president. The world is safer.

President Biden signed a stack of decrees to reverse the goofy decrees that the 45th president had hatched. I had emailed the president with this suggestion.

Kate and I celebrated America’s renewed democracy with a melted tuna sandwich.Always willing to help I asked Kate where in blazes she had hidden the tuna.

She claimed it was in our fridge and that I never paid attention.

I explained that she reads far too many books on being mindful and said that since I was on an equal footing with the president-elect that I deserved to be respected like his wife respected him.

Something in Kate’s brain snapped. “Jill Biden has to remind her husband to put his cereal bowl in the dishwasher,” she said.

I said that was nonsense — either one of them could ask the Secret Service to clear the table.

Kate said the Secret Service would not clear anyone’s table.

“All the president or I would have to do is mention that there was a bomb in his bran flakes,” I said.

Kate felt this attitude was one more reason that I might never be president. She can be extremely hurtful.

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