Nut Energy

My Dear Friends,

About a hundred years ago my grandfather fought in World War I — my cousin, Ken Summers, found the following.  (The military keeps pretty good records.)

Hit control ++ to magnify his medical record. It says Grampa was sent home to die. 

john summers darken

You can also magnify his widow’s pension below.  Not much for a man’s life: $322.  That’s not for a month, that’s for an entire life.

widow pension

Several MDs I talked to said that with a wound like Gramps had that the surgeons would have removed the shrapnel. No.  Grampa —  who I never met —  ended up with  lead in him and a tiny pension.  

John & Mercy Summers



He decided to take it in a lump sum, a one-time payment of around $300 while he was still alive.

What is not recorded in any documents is that as soon as he received the settlement one of our  shirt-tail relatives visited him with a sack of —  of all things —  almonds.


This chap stuck a pin in one of the almonds and said watch.  

He lit the nut on fire and it burned for several minutes like a tiny torch.  


My grandfather gave this asshole all his pension money after being promised large returns on a secret process to extract oil from almonds —  this oil would be used to power the world.  

Grampa died shortly after.  A busted man.

Near the end of his life my dad lost all of his tiny fortune betting on horses.  Sometimes when we were at a bar he would amuse himself by setting various beer nuts aflame.


He carried a small hat pin in his wallet for this purpose.


Lit Match ca. 2000

His first social security check was $62. He shot himself prior to the second check because he did not want to be a pauper.


I worried I might end up the same way so I invested prudentially in IRAs for Kate and me.


Many of those stocks are still being traded for a few pennies on the dollar.

We still have a little cash left so I have decided to start an almond farm but I find myself a bit short so perhaps you could see your way clear to helping me — and in the process become wealthy beyond your dreams.


You see, my dear friend, I have recently uncovered a sensational method to extract oil from almonds.  


It could save the world.


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Jaron Summers wrote dozens of primetime television and radio programs, including those for HBO, CBS, ACCESS TV and CBC. He conceived the TV and Film Institute of Canada. Funded by the University of Alberta and ITV, Jaron ran the Institute for 12 years, donating his services for a decade.

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