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Quora asked me

How was Joseph Smith able to translate the Book of Mormon if he was illiterate? Wouldn’t he need to know how to read the words on the rock?

There are many answers –I will give you three:

1. God and Jesus picked him for the task. Neither God nor Jesus made many mistakes.

It was not even their fault that for a long time humans thought Pluto was a planet.

So stop worrying about getting what was on the gold plates into print.

If you desire I will deliver to you a copy of The Book of Mormon for free. If you are around the neighborhood I won’t charge you anything, not even gasoline.

I have a car, a fine ’98 Honda Accord. If you live in say, Hong Kong or Auckland I will have to charge you postage.

2. The Prophet could read.

We know this because he drew maps of hidden treasure and labeled them. He could not do that if he were illiterate. And it’s not fair saying that he drew fake maps and cheated other treasure hunters.

The Prophet could even read languages that no one had ever heard of. Languages such as Reformed Egyptian. I have many friends who are Egyptians and they have tried to stop smoking. Most could not. So I’m pretty sure there are not as many Reformed Egyptians as you might think.

I am an expert on Egypt and the pyramids.

By now I think any reasonable person must conclude that The Prophet spoke and understood many languages including tongues that no one ever heard of. You can blame that on our universities and their language departments who make light of The Prophet.

Note: Since by now we both agree that The Prophet was literate and could understand languages that did not exist — well, you see where I am going with this … he was well equipped to be God’s go-to-guy to produce The Book of Mormon.

If you desire I will deliver to you a copy of The Book of Mormon for free. If you are around the neighborhood I won’t charge you anything. I have a car, a fine ’98 Honda Accord.

If you live in say, Paris or Lima I will have to charge you postage.

3. A third answer is one that I don’t fully believe: The Prophet, being a charming chap, and a normal man set up a false church so he could bone young girls and trick their parents into joining the Mormon Church.

He also has been accused of boning the girls’ moms. The “bone spreaders” are evil doers, including Joe’s first wife, Emma Hale Smith Bidamon, who thought he was going a bit far when he married a few dozen gals.

The Prophet’s First Wife

These same evil doers claim that The Prophet made up a lot of the tales in The Book of Mormon and plagiarized huge chunks of it from The King James Bible, 1611. ( I happen to think it should have been the early winter of 1612 because I am a biblical scholar who is much smarter than all those con artists who have mega churches and make a lot more money than me. Never mind it’s dirty money.)

If you desire I will deliver to you a copy of The Book of Mormon for free. If you are around the neighborhood I won’t charge you anything. I have a car, a fine ’98 Honda Accord.

If you live in say, London or North Korea I will have to charge you postage.

*I’m sorry. I have digressed. Mormons do. I know since I was a Mormon Missionary.

Albeit, I wrestled with my calling. It’s all explained in my novel on Audible.

AKA the novel: The Missionary Position

Get it for free. (When you join Audible)

Anyway, you asked how Joseph Smith, The Prophet, could come up with the Book of Mormon.

I hope I have answered your question.

* Dang. My Honda won’t start. Could you help me with a fund raising program so I can buy a serviceable Ferrari?

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