The curious thoughts of Jaron Summers

Mob Rule

DIY Doom

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When burglars target a paranoid retiree’s condo, they trigger a ludicrous gauntlet of DIY defenses—knife-wielding robots, sarcastic security systems, and a moat of kombucha. Think Home Alone meets Dr. Strangelove. Hysterical. Explosive. HOA-approved (barely). You’ll die laughing—legally.

Bye Bye American Dream

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One carefully placed shot from a rooftop at Utah Valley University ended the life of Charlie Kirk, the conservative firebrand speaker, in front of hundreds of witnesses gathered for one of his signature “Prove Me Wrong” events.

Our Creeping Civil War

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In a deeply divided America, neighbors wage war with lawn signs, podcasts, and passive-aggressive potlucks. Slow Motion Civil War is a satirical dramedy where the front lines are Facebook feeds, and the real battle is over who brings the best dip to the HOA meeting. Think Dr. Strangelove meets Nextdoor.

Once Upon a Glitch

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AI doesn’t think like us—it predicts the next word based on patterns from vast text data. This can create familiar yet surprising results, producing stories that resonate or veer into the absurd, without true understanding or consciousness behind them.

Dressing for Success

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“I want to repair a hole in my jeans.” I showed her my old jeans.

Americans take Superior position

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California is working on a plan to siphon zillions of gallons of water from Lake Superior to LA. Honest. Lake Superior is one of the deepest lakes in the world. It has ten per cent of the fresh surface water of Planet Earth.

Mob Rule Some Wild Stats

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I make the astonishing observation that cell phones (mobile phones) caused the murder rate to drop annually from 2,200 to 500 in New York. Of course, I know nothing about statistics but neither do statisticians. Still, if you look at when the NY murder rate started to plummet (around 1995), you will see that’s when cell phone saturation hit almost…

Mob Rule

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You know, talking to friends and colleagues about rumors and happenings. Meaningless babble. Apparently we are hard-wired to stand around the water cooler and chew the fat since in the good old days knowing what was going on, saved having our own fat from being chewed up. “Say did you hear Uncle Henry was eaten at ….