Ever Found Out GOD Watches You?

I discovered girls and the rabbit games moved into more risky territory.
I was brought up in a fairly strict Christian household and one of my parents was a Mormon. From the age of three stroking my penis was a no-no. My parents convinced me that God was WATCHING me 24/7.

Our LDS bishop often asked me if was “wringing the red rabbit.” I lied and said no. He told me that the only highway to salvation was to tell him what was going on and then God might forgive me. He was certain God was watching all of us. I discovered girls and the rabbit games moved into more risky territory. I didn’t want to confess to anyone about something so personal as convincing girls to rub the rabbit so I made a deal with god in which I promised He could fail me for one year of high school each time I violated “LDS standards.” I kept score and things worked out so that I would not graduate until 3006, late March. On the verge of losing my virginity I was called to be a Mormon missionary. But first an apostle in the LDS church had a chat with me. Click to hear that conversation —  

 

Our Favorites

Picture of jaron

jaron

Jaron Summers wrote dozens of primetime television and radio programs, including those for HBO, CBS, ACCESS TV and CBC. He conceived the TV and Film Institute of Canada. Funded by the University of Alberta and ITV, Jaron ran the Institute for 12 years, donating his services for a decade.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Read More

Blog

The Sod Hut

They say nothing ever happened in Coronation but I heard stories about the Gent from Geneva, who in the late
Wacky tales

How to Feel Great

There are many ways to write a column and if you are busy, busy, busy often all you do is
Short stories

Halifax Hustle

The chaos was worsening. The loons on St. Margaret’s Bay sang silly songs in the Nova Scotia fog. A phone
Essays

We Is Records

Wear a mask … don’t be a record before you have to.