Sometimes the best stories come after the towels are dry, the sun is shining, and the universe grants us another thirty seconds of balance. For the past couple of weeks, Kate and I have been learning more about water than we ever wanted to know. Edmonton has had rainstorms that have left thousands of homeowners […]
THE FIFTH KEY At 2:13 in the morning, the emergency dispatcher heard a baby crying from inside a bank vault. The sound was faint, irregular, and somehow worse because of the static. “My name is Anna Vale,” the woman whispered. “I’m inside the vault at North Dominion Bank. I have my daughter with me. She’s […]
When I was a graduate student at UCLA, I had the good fortune to study under one of the giants of American broadcasting. His name was Norman Corwin. To most people today, that name means very little. To those who grew up during radio’s golden age, however, Corwin was close to royalty. He was the […]
# Wings in the Dark ### *Revised Edition* Acccent the love story and and make it simpler. ## CHAPTER ONE The first cut hurt less than I expected. That was my first surprise. The second was that I was not dead. The man standing over me seemed disappointed by both facts. “Hold still,” he […]
My father never went to business school. He did not need to. He had me. I was his experimental department. When I was about nine or ten, he decided it was time I learned something about money, savings, investments, discipline, disappointment, contract law, and the brutal injustice of adulthood. Naturally, he did not announce the […]
My dear old dad made it to sixty-five. I am eighty-four, so I have him beat by quite a bit. But the older I get, the more I find myself looking back over my life and thinking about him. He was unorthodox. That is the polite word. He was not a man who sat me […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There are many ways for a young man to discover that the world is not arranged according to his expectations. Some learn it through war, some through marriage, and some—though it seems hardly fair—through a private interview with a man who speaks directly to God. Jerry Wonder was nineteen years old when he was introduced […]
News item: Doctors have injected a modified cold virus featuring designer genes into a patient to regenerate his heart. After my chest pains developed, I went to see Dr. Splicer Shwitzer, the world’s foremost cardiac specialist. One of his assistants drew blood and a second drew up papers to transfer the equity in my home […]
From the 23rd floor of the Hyatt in Shanghai my wife and I look down on the Egg. A chicken that laid such an egg would stand taller than the Statue of Liberty. Even so, you could not make an omelet large enough from that gargantuan hen to feed the 1.4 billion people in China […]
To ensure a successful marriage, a man must understand true love. My wife and I have been happily married for more than a quarter of a century—something of a minor miracle in Southern California. So I feel qualified, at least in a reckless, anecdotal way, to recognize true love when I see it. That’s why […]
Purple Gas and Jesse James by Jaron Summers In Coronation, Alberta, there were two kinds of gasoline. One kind was legal for ordinary sinners. The other was purple. Purple gas was meant for farmers and farm equipment, which made sense because farmers had machinery the size of apartment blocks and fuel bills that could make […]
A New Way to Share Stories Summers’ Secret Sauce Turning Short Stories Into Readers, Listeners, and Fans Concept proposal by Jaron Summers © 2026 This describes a simple idea: turning greeting cards into gateways to stories. The Core Idea Imagine a greeting card that does more than deliver a message. Inside the card is […]
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December 13, 2025
The Emotional Lifeof Driverless Cars written by jaron summers © 2025 The public has been assured—repeatedly and at great volume—that driverless cars are safer than human drivers. This is undoubtedly true. Humans, after all, have a long and proud tradition of driving while angry, distracted, late, or in possession of a cheeseburger that requires both […]
Gold in the Dust A bedtime story about a writer, a street that leaks gold, and a girl who learns how kindness multiplies. BY JARON SUMMERS When Zara turned twenty-one, she decided she was finally old enough to ask the forbidden question—the one everyone tiptoed past like a sleeping goat: “How come I have a […]
Now I mostly supervise. And fart. I live with a human named Sam. Sam’s a good egg. Scratches behind the ears. Keeps my bowl full. Doesn’t complain when I drool on his bootleg mattress. He used to laugh a lot. But then came the day he sold his eyes and his heart. You’re wondering how a man does that.
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September 22, 2025
<h2 style=”color:#ff4500;”>🔥 The Day My Sternum Got Jealous of My Bladder 🔵</h2> <p><em>(By a Man Who Can Finally Pee Like a Fire Hose Again — And Write Cursive in the Snow ❄️✍️)</em></p> <p style=”font-size:18px;”> About seven months ago, I underwent what I now consider to be the <strong style=”color:#008000;”>single greatest medical intervention</strong> this side of […]
When a wannabe gangster in small-town Alberta falls for an elaborate RCMP sting, he unwittingly confesses to murder while chasing his dream of becoming a made man. The Slim Job is darkly comic, chillingly real, and a uniquely Canadian twist on the true crime genre—with snow, shovels, and Mounties in disguise.
toast iNFO TO GO WITH KID SHOT
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December 15, 2024
CHARLIE TAGGART WAS A GOOD NAZI. Or so everyone thought. Charlie himself knew that wasn’t true. At sixteen years old, he knew he was not a Nazi like the others, and he would never be a Nazi. But he couldn’t risk not appearing to be one. That would be dangerous. No, on the […]
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December 19, 2023
Comparing the brain to a computer is a metaphor; they operate on fundamentally different principles and are each suited to different types of tasks.
“Delving into ‘Six Feet Under,’ we uncover more than tales of death; it’s a profound exploration of life. This series transcends mere entertainment, offering a unique perspective on living. Its cultural impact is undeniable, inviting us to reflect deeply on the essence and complexities of our existence.”
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November 30, 2023
The Perfume Kids Chapter One written by jaron summers (c) 2023 Nosey here, and I’ve got a crazy story to share …. My family often says I’m clever, though I sometimes wonder, particularly when I’m upset with my freckles. You see, my freckles are like a starry galaxy and there’s this amazing dragon-shaped one […]
Mark Twain might have had something to say about the concept of multitasking and the idea of multiple universes.Twain once wrote, “The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.” This sentiment could easily be applied to the idea of multitasking. The person who attempts to […]
According to California weather reports a hurricane and a couple of tornados whirl toward us. I say: Bring ’em on baby. We are prepared!
jaron
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November 26, 2022
Cross the BOARD and you end up water BOARDED.
Please come back soon Here is What we are Working on: Golden Tide, the novel.
Listen to the nice lady offer to help me.
jaron
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November 30, 2021
It’s easy. Under two hours? That’s 120 minutes, right? So, 119 minutes is less than two hours. Now, think about your movie. Here’s a quick way to stay on track. A likeable character has a worthwhile goal. As she/he moves toward that goal problems develop out of their character. No writing the first week. Thinking. That’s […]
Quora: As a Mormon, what triggered your deconversion? When I was a young man in New Zealand serving an LDS mission I often fasted and prayed. I knew I belonged to the true church. I regarded all the others as cults. I wrote a novel about my deconversion after I blessed and healed Watty. […]
Animals are smarter than you think. In the 1950s I lived in a village in Canada. Population: 950 people. Stray dogs: four or five. A veterinarian who spoke broken English rented a house. He turned a back room into his office/clinic. If kids with no cash had a “pet” dog or cat or even a […]
Brain Fog will be the death of me.
A conversation between my mother-in-law and me. Her name is Betty and she’s 99. Jaron: How do you like your new assisted living home? Betty: It’s good. I know you think I can’t keep track of time but I can. I’ve been here for about a month. Jaron: What with the virus and lockdowns, time […]
The Book of Mormon for free
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February 18, 2021
When I was going to school in Coronation, “uncle” Doug stayed at our home during goose hunting season. He knew and loved Coronation. By the way, Dr. Paul was the guy who put together Alberta Health Care. It was the best in Canada, maybe the world … until the insurance companies got their meathooks into […]
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February 17, 2021
Suicide …. 20 times more than the world’s highest
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February 16, 2021
My boyfriend is telling me that the Earth is flat, but my friends are telling me that he’s lying. I think the Earth is round, but I’m not sure. Is the Earth round or flat? Mr. Science Answer: Both groups are correct. The earth is both round and flat. Have a look. This is a […]
watch your investment grow.
Wear a mask … don’t be a record before you have to.
Joe Biden and I have things in common …
Dad was a boxer in his younger days. The joke in our family was that he couldn’t pick up a ball bearing without crushing it. Except when he was in your mouth. Super gentle. The town of Coleman was the first place he set up a practice. His first patient was a nervous and […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Still shaking in my boots. Yesterday I put on my old shoes to go for a walk. My left foot seemed to be asleep … I realized with horror that I could not lift it from the ground. Left side of the body often means a stroke. I prayed I could get to the phone […]
In the 1950s my mother and I traveled by bus and train to the States to stay with her parents each summer. A few months later my father arrived in Lake Andes, South Dakota to drive us back to our home in Canada. We stopped for root beer floats and foot-long hot dogs and saw […]
Star Trek-TNG My Work Hart To Hart Mercy Stone God’s Gull
When we are in Hawaii (The Big Island) Kate likes to drive around it. I always give her instructions before she goes. There are two routes. Both are illustrated here.
There are a raft of shibboleths and acronyms you probably know if you’re contemplating writing something that starts with FADE IN: POV, MOS, CU, FADE OUT, INT … some of the many “inside words” that are helpful to know if you’re going to make your mark in Hollywood. Here’s a new one for you: MAYA. […]
I was horrified to hear that mother might be a hooker.
“illegal nocturnal emissions.”
A madcap love story with giggles for taxpayers.
From 1984 to 1987, the police in Lower Saxony had a very special drug and explosive nose: a real wild boar with the name Luise. The 150-kilogram bache quickly became world famous. The clever wild boar lady even entered the Guinness Book of World Records. On 5 July 1984 Luise saw the light of […]
Did I like going to BYU. You bet. I never had more fun with my clothes off.
I discovered girls and the rabbit games moved into more risky territory.
LIFE SUCKS Two principals and single location. A trailer to trigger action from binge watching netflixers…. Need one older male, play late 70s …. Here’s the short story, a three minute read: http://jaronsummers.com/life-sucks/
Dogs and Cats can get along!
Is it possible that a two-year old, named Sarah, holds a key to saving our planet?
Thanks for trusting us! Hi, we are Hooper and Kate You can read and listen for FREE to the first chapter of The Whooping Moose. Please click here. The entire graphic novel with over 150 astonished images, special effects and music will be available for 24.99 next week. It comes with a 40 minute hilarious […]
Half the world population has access to a cell phone. That means you have over 3,000,000,000 customers RIGHT NOW. First you need a website: Then something to sell: Pitch: under 15 seconds: The vamp in vampire. Free download of the kindle version
You can roll it up or fold it like a piece of paper. What a brilliant idea.
“So limp over and sit in one, you asshole. You fucking near broke my toe.”
“And what happens if a herd of hypothetical rabbits shows up?”
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DCKTZAK/ref=cm_cr_ryp_prd_ttl_sol_0
“I want to repair a hole in my jeans.” I showed her my old jeans.
Eskimos, along with a few other stone age people, can teach us how to survive our technology. Check out the 1922 American silent documentary film Nanook of the North and you’ll see how the Eskimo or People of the Inuit, subdued the sub-zero temperatures of the Arctic and thrived. That film is almost a hundred years old. […]
The shooters need to know who the future traitors are of America. Smart ass lawyers.
Amazon sneaks into your car or truck and hides your order inside your vehicle.
Here’s a photo of a woman I met last week. A few months ago she was a beautiful and vibrant 23-year-old woman. She is still vibrant and beautiful. She has such a great smile that you almost don’t see how disfigured she is when you meet her. An angry lover poured acid in her face. […]
Here’s a photo of a woman I met. A few months ago she was a beautiful and vibrant 23 year old woman. She has such a great smile that you almost don’t see how disfigured she is when you meet her. A smile makes a difference. If this happened to me I don’t think I could […]
he likes to be entertained…
I gave the executive (who I owe a producing credit to) twenty bucks to convince his boss, a boss in the slammer for cavorting with kids, that my novel would make a terrific film.
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February 24, 2018
Fly to Wimbledon with the money you save. Link one of your smartphone to a wifi in England.
jaron
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February 18, 2018
Want to have your kids learn how to deal with bullies? Have a look at our movie. Click here
jaron
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November 24, 2017
Confusion over political correctness, vegans, vivisections, bullying and the madness of this millennium, it may be time to consider The Whooping Moose.
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September 7, 2017
For years Kate and I have spent some of our most fun times in Hawaii and New Zealand. I promised Kate that someday I would buy a small island just for her. Today I did. You can come and visit us. You may also want to sublease a part of our island. I bought it […]
THE STORY OF IKEA (I did not write this, someone sent it to me) Tighter than wallpaper… There isn’t any profit sharing here … He lives in a bungalow, flies EasyJet and ‘dries out’ three times a year… the man who founded Ikea and is worth more than $15bn . Self-made man: Ingvar Kamprad with […]
Bathtubs & Bastards Many years ago I dated a lovely single mother who had a five year old boy. Her son enjoyed baths and during these baths the lady would ask her son what he was doing. Often he’d call back and say, “It’s okay, I’m not drinking the bathtub water.” And […]
Umpires or referees or whatever they call themselves could restrict the number of balls used each day at Wimbledon to 18.
how can people be so cruel?
Caution — a condenser holds an electric charge. So you need to discharge it. Or you could get a shock.
I keep a journal since it’s fun to see what I did ten or twenty or thirty years ago. When I was a missionary I prayed each day. One day I realized that if there were a god or gods they would have stopped people from creating religions. Any religion. Nothing is as detrimental to […]
blending in with the curtains
Ten minutes, once gone, are gone for good.
Roger Moore and I were both Saints
How about—you write your script, press enter and with the help of AI and digital skulduggery—you create a masterpiece.
No one could have anticipated that Clause 23 would be required
Idea: Everyone in government gets the same health care as their constituents. Better Idea: During a nuclear exchange, the authorities have to give up their underground bunkers for kids in kindergarten.
Suppose you live next door to a jerk. And suppose the jerk though you were a jerk. And suppose you were both right. You bickered and swore to burn each other’s house to the ground. And you would have, except your daughter fell in love with the jerk’s son. And miracle of miracles they had […]
I will also teach you how to write screenplays that we can sell to the major studios.
From the 23rd floor of the Hyatt in Shanghai my wife and I look down on the Egg. A chicken that laid such an egg would stand taller than the Statue of Liberty. Even so, you could not make an omelet large enough from that gargantuan hen to feed the 1.4 billion people in China […]
jaron
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December 13, 2016
With the new millennium roaring around us we must solve several serious problems or we’ll not make it as a species for another hundred years, let alone a thousand. Here’s our five major problems: (1) thermonuclear war, (2) the environment, (3) balanced budget, (4) sexual predators in political offices and (5) obesity. Thermonuclear war is […]
jaron
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December 10, 2016
Everyone grab half a sleeping person ….
There are lots of ways to get what you want. One way is to go to Mars so that intergalactic war can begin.
Millions of truck drivers create tens of millions of job. But there is a huge shortage of drivers according to The Wall Street Journal. And those jobs cannot be shipped overseas. I beg to differ. Pilots fly drones halfway around the world. Let ’em drive trucks. A clever guy in the shade of the […]
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September 20, 2016
He gave me a damn fine whipping employing a large switch that somehow reached my vulnerable little bum
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September 13, 2016
Samsung’s latest evil invention
The phone that I knew as a boy has morphed into a magical device that we take for granted. But the machines are just starting.
“Slip this into your pocket, don’t make it obvious. When you get home, check out the first star to the right of the nine.”
I discovered something that has shaken my confidence, my faith, and my soul, to the core.
— my friend, you will have a meeting that week. The single purpose in that meeting will be to meet Mr. Hopkins.
Let’s see if you can tell where I started to make stuff up.
I wonder how this looks. especially with this.
Have A Listen: sat test This link gets you a free copy of the narration, and a free trial membership in Audible. Already a member? I have some review copies while they last. email: jaronbs@gmail.com Thanks!
hey pay $3,000 for aged ripped jeans
Trump challenged Bernie to a televised sex contest ….
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February 28, 2016
Jack Wynters gives my favorite character a wonderful voice.
Mother Nature likes hockey. I know she likes hockey because I have seen and handled the tar that holds the oil.
Thank you for your dire warning about flying almost half way around the world.
My prediction — last edited 10/26/15 — Bernie will be the next US president
We have a home in Edmonton that we rent to grad students. Recently after weeks of negotiating–a possible tenant came in with a last minute offer, far below what we had agreed to. She said she already had a better place …. I sent her the following. Hi June, Kate and I are delighted that […]
Click on that button below
You can make a 100 times more money writing this way than blogging.
Adult Riddle. After everyone left the shower it was discovered that one of them was pregnant.
These ‘freelance spies’ are recording conversations around New York City http://www.theverge.com/2015/5/24/8652925/freelance-spies-nsa-recording-conversations-nyc
I am not sure where he came from or how he learned to do what he did but he was one of the most bizarre characters who ever settled in our village.
He was an electrician …
… who resembled a Sumo wrestler with a French name, and how he learned about electricity I don’t know.
