Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dad was  a boxer in his younger days.  The joke in our family was that he couldn’t pick up a ball bearing without crushing it.  Except when he was in your mouth.   Super gentle.   The town of Coleman was the first place he set up a practice.  His first patient was a nervous and large […]

I finally was able to talk to the world’s greatest president, Donald Trump. He emphasized he fully supported a peaceful transfer of power in 12 days. Donald Trump plans to make sure that every toddler in the United States will receive 45 packages of matches. He himself is taking fiddle lessons.

Donald Trump tripped and smashed his head against one of his many gold toilets … he realized it was not his fault. Nothing is. It was the fault of the day: Friday the 13th. He immediately signed a presidential declaration removing all Fridays from the calendars for the the next four years. ‘ “This means,” […]

I wonder how Donald Trump would have handled a past crises? December 7, 1941 Mr. President, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor! They’re attacking our navy. DT: Order the Secretary of the Navy to scuttle all our vessels world wide. They’ll be safe under water. April 15, 1912 Mr. President, The Titanic just hit a giant […]

January 1, 2021 Donald Trump (AKA: The Monkey Wrench President) will win 666 electoral votes of a possible 538 due to a bookkeeping error by a Moscow dude. As the virus surges to over 2,000 deaths per day in the USA, President Trump will sign his first executive order banning face masks. Trump Inc. will […]

When we are in Hawaii (The Big Island) Kate likes to drive around it. I always give her instructions before she goes. There are two routes. Both are illustrated here.

From 1984 to 1987, the police in Lower Saxony had a very special drug and explosive nose: a real wild boar with the name Luise. The 150-kilogram bache quickly became world famous. The clever wild boar lady even entered the Guinness Book of World Records.   On 5 July 1984 Luise saw the light of […]

LIFE SUCKS  Two principals and single location.  A trailer to trigger action from binge watching netflixers….   Need one older male, play late 70s …. Here’s the short story, a three minute read: http://jaronsummers.com/life-sucks/  

Half the world population has access to a cell phone.  That means you have over 3,000,000,000 customers RIGHT NOW. First you need a website: Then something to sell:   Pitch: under 15 seconds:  The vamp in vampire.   Free download of the kindle version      

Eskimos, along with a few other stone age people, can teach us how to survive our technology. Check out the 1922 American silent documentary film Nanook of the North and you’ll see how the Eskimo or People of the Inuit, subdued the sub-zero temperatures of the Arctic and thrived. That film is almost a hundred years old.  […]

Here’s a photo of a woman I met. A few months ago she was a beautiful and vibrant 23 year old woman.   She has such a great smile that you almost don’t see how disfigured she is when you meet her. A smile makes a difference.  If this happened to me I don’t think I could […]

    Want to have your kids learn how to deal with bullies?  Have a look at our movie. Click here        

THE STORY OF IKEA (I did not write this, someone sent it to me) Tighter than wallpaper… There isn’t any profit sharing here … He lives in a bungalow, flies EasyJet and ‘dries out’ three times a year… the man who founded Ikea and is worth more than $15bn . Self-made man: Ingvar Kamprad with […]

Bathtubs & Bastards   Many years ago I dated a lovely single mother who had a five year old boy. Her son enjoyed baths and during these baths the lady would ask her son what he was doing.   Often he’d call back and say, “It’s okay, I’m not drinking the bathtub water.”   And […]

Idea: Everyone in government gets the same health care as their constituents.   Better Idea: During a nuclear exchange, the authorities have to give up their underground bunkers for kids in kindergarten.    

With the new millennium roaring around us we must solve several serious problems or we’ll not make it as a species for another hundred years, let alone a thousand. Here’s our five major problems: (1) thermonuclear war, (2) the environment, (3) balanced budget, (4) sexual predators in political offices and (5) obesity. Thermonuclear war is […]

There are lots of ways to get what you want.  One way is to go to Mars so that intergalactic war can begin.

I wonder how this looks.  especially with this. 

We have a home in Edmonton that we rent to grad students. Recently after weeks of negotiating–a possible tenant came in with a last minute offer, far below what we had agreed to. She said she already had a better place …. I sent her the following. Hi June, Kate and I are delighted that […]

These ‘freelance spies’ are recording conversations around New York City http://www.theverge.com/2015/5/24/8652925/freelance-spies-nsa-recording-conversations-nyc