Donald Trump tripped and smashed his head against one of his many gold toilets … he realized it was not his fault. Nothing is.
It was the fault of the day: Friday the 13th.
He immediately signed a presidential declaration removing all Fridays from the calendars for the the next four years. ‘
“This means,” said our dear leader. “That America will have another presidential election in about three years because of the shorter weeks. I will win that next election. easily. And then I will add four more days to each week. Those days will be Fred, Melania, Maryanne, and Baron.
“And that way I can rule with kindness and compassion for an extra three years because of the longer weeks.
“God bless me and America.”
The Monkey Wrench