This Little Piggy
CNN: Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the suspected mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks and a senior operative in Osama bin Laden’s al-Qaida network, was captured Saturday in a joint raid by CIA and Pakistani agents.
Following is an interview between Khalid Shaikh Mohammed and a CIA high-level operative, called Joe.
Joe: Hi, Khalid. Sorry about having to put you to sleep for a while. How’re you feeling? A bit groggy I suspect.
Khalid: You have no right to hold me secretly like this.
Joe: There are a couple of questions we need to ask. You were the brains behind the 9-11 attack that killed 3,000 Americans, right?
Khalid: They were pigs. I demand that you give me a lawyer.
Joe: All in good time. We know you funded and organized the 9-11 attack.
Khalid: I don’t recall. I demand that you let me contact the ACLU right now.
Joe: All in due course. Could you tell us where Osama bin Laden is?
Khalid: Go screw yourself, you dirty pig.
Joe: I could never tell you to screw yourself.
Khalid: You lying swine!
Joe: No, I’m telling you the truth. While you were sleeping we removed your penis and testicles.
Khalid: You lying swine!
Joe: Have a look. See? You can’t screw anything.
Khalid: Ahhhiii! By the soul of Mohammed, you took my legs too. And, what have you done with my arms?
Joe: Don’t worry, Khalid, we have all your body parts over in those jars across the room. If you feel like talking to us, we’ll put you back together.
Khalid: I’ll tell you everything you want to know.
Joe: Wonderful. Our medical team is superb at reconnecting people. There is just one small problem.
Joe: We’re operating under battlefield conditions and we only have one kind of surgical thread to sew you back up. It’s made from pig gut.
Khalid: I’d end up part pig if the operation is a success?
Joe: Yes, even after you come clean you’re going to end up unclean. That’s a little CIA humor, Khalid.
Khalid: I don’t know what else could go wrong in my life.
Joe: We’re going to turn you over to the authorities in Kuwait when we’re finished with you.
Joe: The Kuwaitis believe in torture. We don’t.
Here’s how you torture:
But here is how you really get the info:
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