written by
jaron summers (c) 2024
I interviewed the famous Time Management guru, Alfred Uber-Done.
Dr. Uber-Done, a Harvard PhD, guides the world’s ten largest corporations in matters of efficiency.
Dr. Uber-Done’s phone never stops ringing. Three postal workers deliver his mail each day and that includes Sundays and holidays. He charges $10,000 a day for his services.
Dr. Uber-Done plays ten hours a day. He sleeps ten hours a day. And he works ten hours a day. I asked Dr. Uber-Done how he could work a 30-hour day.
“Quite simple. Multitask. If you do it right you can work up to 40 hours a day. Many people have a hard time finding that many productive hours in a full week. I am perhaps 10 times as successful as the average businessman.”
I asked him how he keeps track of all his tasks.
“Very simple. I link EACH task to my good self with dental floss. For example, I’m making a milk shake now. I simply tie the milkshake maker to one of my toes and I’m linked-in.”
“Let me guess,” I said. “Since you only have ten toes, you limit yourself to ten things?”
“That was the old days. But then I started our dental floss factory where we make ten different colors of dental floss. Bingo. Ten colors of floss per toe. Ten toes. I can accomplish 100 tasks at the same time.”
“Don’t you trip with ten tasks tied to each of your ten toes?” I asked.
“No. For example, green dental floss is for health. See, I’ve tied a green strand to a dispenser of dental floss. The other end winds around my small toe on my left foot.
“That reminds me that I’m anchored by dental floss … and knowing that I’m careful not to trip. It’s simply beautiful and beautifully simple. “
“Is there a downside to your Time Management system?” I asked.
“Dentures.”
“I don’t understand,” I said.
“During the development of my system I ran out of dental floss. I neglected my teeth. I lost them and now I have dentures. A tiny price to pay for the perfect Time Management system.”
“Any other disadvantages?” I asked.
“Sandals. Have to wear them so I can get to my toes.”
