Getting High at Your Wedding

According to search and rescue teams, many brides have replaced traditional adorable ring bearers, with birds of prey. Wedding guests often bring live mice to feed these raptors.

written by

jaron summers (c) 2024

In a whimsical twist to our wedding in the enchanting city of San Diego, my beloved bride, Lady Gigglesnort, and I, Sir Chucklebeard, embarked on a matrimonial journey unlike any other.

The stage was set for a grand spectacle, with Lady Gigglesnort donning a leather glove, atop which perched a juicy morsel of quail meat, ready to summon our extraordinary ring bearer.

As our stunned guests watched, a majestic falcon, Sir Flapalot, glided gracefully towards Lady Gigglesnort, its mission to deliver our gleaming wedding bands.

The moment was filled with magic and mirth and a touch of horror.

Lady Gigglesnort, with her usual playful wit, had dreamed up what was supposed to unfold without a hitch. 

She, with
the renowned falconer, Baron Beakmaster, were a testament to our love for whimsy and animals.

His establishment, The Aviary of Amusement, located in picturesque Long Beach, California, provided us with this unique opportunity.

All was going splendidly, with guests marveling at the skill of Sir Flapalot, when an unforeseen twist unfolded.

Out of nowhere, a colossal alpha raven, Lord Ravenous, appeared with a dramatic flair.

With a surprising display of strength and audacity, Lord Ravenous swooped down, seized Lady Gigglesnort in his talons, and flew off into the blue yonder, leaving the guests and me in a mix of shock and awe.

I, Sir Chucklebeard, along with the gallant Baron Beakmaster and our brave wedding party, embarked on a chase to rescue my beloved bride.

The pursuit was nothing short of a scene from a fantastical tale, with Lord Ravenous leading us on a merry dance across the LA skyline.

In the end, it was Lady Gigglesnort’s irresistible charm and gentle persuasion that convinced Lord Ravenous to return her safely to the ground.

The wedding resumed amidst much relief and laughter, with the guests buzzing with excitement over the unexpected adventure.

This eventful wedding, marked by the brief but thrilling escapade with Lord Ravenous, turned our special day into a legendary tale, woven with love, laughter, and a touch of wild whimsy.

It was a celebration that none of us would ever forget, a perfect blend of tradition, humor, and a dash of the extraordinary.”

Editor’s note.  Four months after the above Lady Gigglesnort announced she was pregnant.  Here is her sonogram. 

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jaron

jaron

Jaron Summers wrote dozens of primetime television and radio programs, including those for HBO, CBS, ACCESS TV and CBC. He conceived the TV and Film Institute of Canada. Funded by the University of Alberta and ITV, Jaron ran the Institute for 12 years, donating his services for a decade.

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