Getting High at Your Wedding
According to search and rescue teams, many brides have replaced traditional adorable ring bearers, with birds of prey. Wedding guests often bring live mice to feed these raptors.
Tag Archives: wackytales
Investment Secrets
Vehicle repo is a growth industry. A car is stolen nationwide every 30 seconds in America. But one is popped every 20 seconds. That beats playing the stock market.
Love is a many Splendored Thing
I met Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs. and Mrs. and Mrs. and Mrs. Brigham Splendor just outside of Salt Lake City. They, as old-time Mormons once did, practice plural marriage. Today the Mormons (The Church or Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) excommunicates any of its members involved in polygamy.
EGG FU FUN
From the 23rd floor of the Hyatt in Shanghai my wife and I look down on the Egg. A chicken that laid such an egg would stand taller than the Statue of Liberty. Even so, you could not make an omelet large enough from that gargantuan hen to feed the 1.4 billion people in China […]
Americans take Superior position
California is working on a plan to siphon zillions of gallons of water from Lake Superior to LA. Honest. Lake Superior is one of the deepest lakes in the world. It has ten per cent of the fresh surface water of Planet Earth.
Perfect crime…
His wife annoyed him.
Nagging. Leaving the garbage for him to take out. Substituting skim milk for cream in his tea.
He decided to off her.
Things could go wrong.
Also, husbands were always the…
To All the Girls I’ve Loved
John Michael Hughes recently explained to the authorities why he let himself into a Malibu, California house.
He said his fiancée, movie star Meg Ryan, forgot to leave her key under the mat. He had had no option but to kick in a bedroom window and enter. This seems reasonable to me but the cops called it breaking and entering.
Hang Ups!
A twenty-seven-year old widow is helping to make it a misdemeanor to drive while talking on a cell phone throughout many North America communities.
Donna Babing, working with the Sierra Club, has also been behind legislation barring cell phone calls on federally owned wetlands.
Benny Hinn’s Older Brother
World-famous televangelist Benny Hinn has postponed his Super Christian Crusade that was to originate in Salt Lake City, Utah at the end of June.
Reverend Hinn was airvaced today to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota to undergo emergency treatment for a life-threatening staphylococcal infection.
Deep Dolphin
An expert on deviant animal behavior was arrested Sunday on first-degree murder charges in this seaside community of rock stars, movie celebrities and corporate executives.
Dr. Patrick Finley, 68, who taught and lectured throughout the world and was a frequent contributor to National Geographic, is being held without bail in
Mr. Mills
They say nothing ever happened in Coronation but few people ever sat in on Mr. Mills’ fifth grade class, my home room teacher.
Mr. Mills, would look out the second-story window of our red brick schoolhouse as a car sped by and ask, “I wonder what that driver is going to do with his extra two minutes?”
Oh, Baby!
I met Mr. and Mrs. Brady in their home in Las Vegas. Their four-bedroom residence had been turned into a media circus.
As readers will recall, the Bradys made headline news when Mrs. Brady gave birth to 18 babies last month.
During our interview, haggard church
Reverend Jesse Jackson Clears the Air
Jaron: Reverend Jackson, what’s wrong with America?
Reverend Jackson: It’s morally bankrupt. The greatest sin is Men of God who betray their families. These so-called Christian leaders shag anything that struts by their steeples.
Jaron: Why do women allow it?
Egging Me On
Life may imitate art, but around our home, marriage imitates international relations.
Last Sunday I was preparing omelets for my wife Kate and her parents.
My mother-in-law Betty (who understands fully that when I am creating a culinary masterpiece
Getting Yours
I met with a strange duck to find out some of his secrets for survival.
He lives in Los Angeles and his name is Mr. Noraj. Mr. Noraj is a middle-aged man with a warm smile who likes kids and has thinning hair. Few people realize what kind of diabolical things he perpetrates on a daily basis.
It Began with a Bang
Coronation was the result of a sexual act.
Edward VII exercised his connubial rights with Alexandra of Denmark on or about September 4th of 1864.
George V of England popped out of his mummy’s belly in June of the following year.
The Good Old Days
They say nothing happens in Coronation. I have news for you.
Many things that have just happened in the world, happened decades ago in Coronation.
For example, yesterday I read about a couple of wolf boys with a traveling circus.
The Advantage of Pimples
Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones ripped off banks for zillions in the exciting feature film “Entrapment” produced by my buddy, Michael Herzberg — how’s that for dropping names?
Mr. Connery had Ms. Zeta-Jones working under him for much of the movie.
Sam Fitzlehead the 1st
At noon last Friday, a human being was cloned for the first time in the United States of America.
The father of the clone (or, rather, the donor of the DNA that created the clone) is Sam Fitzlehead, a janitor at American Research Gene Laboratories in Seattle, Washington.
