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How Can I Write a Screenplay in LESS Than TWO HOURS?

It’s easy. Under two hours? That’s 120 minutes, right? So 119 minutes is less than two hours.

Now, think about your movie. Here’s a quick way to stay on track. A likeable character has a worthwhile goal. As she/he moves toward that goal problems develop out of their character.

No writing the first week. Thinking. That’s all I want you to do.

Tell yourself: The first week I don’t have to write a darn thing — just think.

The second week get some rum and Coke or just coke, or just rum and fire up your computer. At the top of the first page write FADE IN:

You’re done for the second week.

The third week, think about your first page. The part under FADE IN:

Then type 60 brilliant words in under one minute. Type fast but you can do it. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar or typos.

The fourth week — think about your second page. Then write another 60 brilliant words in under one minute.

Do this for a total of 119 days. Now you have to format your screenplay that took less than two hours (119 minutes) to write.

Take a bow and stuff your pages in your backpack.

Walk down any street in Los Angeles. The first person you see, who looks like they have not eaten for a few days, is your signal to smile and ask how their second act is coming.

They will say — it was a challenge but I think I broke the spine.

Say: I will give you $25 if you run my story through any well known screenwriting program. Just clean up the typos and the continuity.

The screenplay will come out to about 80 pages. Not to worry — executives like to read short screenplays. Any agent will tell you that. Now you have an agent.

She will give your screenplay to a producer who will bounce it in his palm and will devine that it feels light.

Your new agent will agree — Right, it’s lean but Paramount says they can fix it in post.

After you sell your screenplay, join The Writers Guild of America. That means great health care benefits.

This will make it easy for you to attract almost any rising actor since few of them have health care and nearly all of them are hypochondriacs.

They will be awed when you show them your check from Netflix and confide that you were paid $100,000 for less than two hours of writing.

Later — as you walk hand-in-hand in Malibu with your new lover you can reminisce: “How’d I get into Hollywood? Wrote a screenplay in two hours. Turns out it’s simple.”

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