Condo Covens
…. a billion dollar view of the Pacific Ocean
Category Archives: Essays
Bel Air Code of Confusion
Cross the BOARD and you end up water BOARDED.
Joe Smith — loved Animal Crackers
As far as I know he never spoke of Animal Crackers with her although she indicated her husband was a bit crackers himself.
How Can I Write a Screenplay in LESS Than TWO HOURS?
It’s easy. Under two hours? That’s 120 minutes, right? So, 119 minutes is less than two hours. Now, think about your movie. Here’s a quick way to stay on track. A likeable character has a worthwhile goal. As she/he moves toward that goal problems develop out of their character. No writing the first week. Thinking. That’s […]
A dog’s best friend? Another dog.
Algunos animales son mucho más inteligentes de lo que piensas. En la década de 1950 vivía en un pueblo de Canadá. Población: 950 personas. Perros callejeros: cuatro o cinco. Un veterinario que hablaba mal inglés alquiló una casa. Convirtió una habitación trasera en su oficina / clínica. Si los niños sin dinero en efectivo tuvieran […]
Betty’s Brain Fog
Brain Fog will be the death of me.
Quora asked me
The Book of Mormon for free
Time Travel
I think time travel is overrated
Wolf Walker
© 2021 jaron summers Before Facebook, before Twitter, before chat rooms, when Google was only a l-o-o-o-o-o-n-g number and Amazon … a rainforest river, there was The Royal Crown Hotel lobby in Coronation, Alberta. The old timers gathered in its lobby. A fellow, who lost a thumb when he was a tool push on an […]
Doug Paul, MD
When I was going to school in Coronation, “uncle” Doug stayed at our home during goose hunting season. He knew and loved Coronation. By the way, Dr. Paul was the guy who put together Alberta Health Care. It was the best in Canada, maybe the world … until the insurance companies got their meathooks into […]
SIZZLE
Suicide …. 20 times more than the world’s highest
Insider Tip $$$
watch your investment grow.
One way to look at it.
We Is Records
Wear a mask … don’t be a record before you have to.
Aphrodite & The Rat
she was standing like a Grecian Goddess on our granite counter….
Trump Time
OCTOBER 10, 2019DAY 994 OF THE TRUMP Deconstruction of USA 1. Ordered US troops stationed in all foreign bases to form a circle and shoot all imaginary rabbits within circles. 2. Ordered US troops stationed in all domestic bases to form a circle and shoot all imaginary rabbits within circles. 3. Claimed Iceland as US […]
Your Ponzi scheme —
I was horrified to hear that mother might be a hooker.
Snoring Troubles
“illegal nocturnal emissions.”
New Year—2019
Is it possible that a two-year old, named Sarah, holds a key to saving our planet?
Delusional Messiah
Luckily Elder Wonder discovered that AND got the girl.
Fold Up Your Life
You can roll it up or fold it like a piece of paper. What a brilliant idea.
Seat Rustler
“So limp over and sit in one, you asshole. You fucking near broke my toe.”
Sorry To Bother You
You end up with Mastercard moments.
BUILDING A CARROT BRIDGE
“And what happens if a herd of hypothetical rabbits shows up?”
TAB HUNTER – HOLLYWOOD LEGEND – RIP
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DCKTZAK/ref=cm_cr_ryp_prd_ttl_sol_0
FAKE NEWS
President Trump says he does not do Fake News and I believe him. He is making American and the world a better place and enriching this country by reaching out to the major leaders of the world. Before Mr. Tump came to power the Russians wanted to kill us. Now Putin and Trump are good […]
Your car, the Mailbox
Amazon sneaks into your car or truck and hides your order inside your vehicle.
You’re Fired? No. Fried!
They will strike first ….
Would Trump lie to a dog?
If he goes unchecked Trump will fuck up the world of 2018. No other president has had such global capacity. Trump is dangerous beyond imagination. He attacked Syria. Then went on TV and told the world that it was pretty much of a one time warning. But can he believed? Nope. Not in his wildest […]
The Whooping Moose
Confusion over political correctness, vegans, vivisections, bullying and the madness of this millennium, it may be time to consider The Whooping Moose.
Correct Use of Floss
… he could work a 30-hour day
Long Friendship Secrets
I keep a journal since it’s fun to see what I did ten or twenty or thirty years ago. When I was a missionary I prayed each day. One day I realized that if there were a god or gods they would have stopped people from creating religions. Any religion. Nothing is as detrimental to […]
Roger Moore and I were both Saints
Roger Moore and I were both Saints
Immigration Can Save the world
Suppose you live next door to a jerk. And suppose the jerk though you were a jerk. And suppose you were both right. You bickered and swore to burn each other’s house to the ground. And you would have, except your daughter fell in love with the jerk’s son. And miracle of miracles they had […]
Try Laughter
Our ear ringing lessens, then miracle of miracle, stops. Laughter – best medicine!
EGG FU FUN
From the 23rd floor of the Hyatt in Shanghai my wife and I look down on the Egg. A chicken that laid such an egg would stand taller than the Statue of Liberty. Even so, you could not make an omelet large enough from that gargantuan hen to feed the 1.4 billion people in China […]
The Sensual Pickpocket of Barcelona
Gaudi’s cathedral is a work in progress like our marriage
Your word for today: Sam-suing
Samsung’s latest evil invention
Why we vote the way we do ….
I would rather get some of my tiny piece of the pie back rather than giving up what little pie I have.
Mankind: Just A Blip?
“So what are you going to do about it?” asked Donald Rabbit. “Reprogram me?”
Spec screenplay sales – long shots, real long
— my friend, you will have a meeting that week. The single purpose in that meeting will be to meet Mr. Hopkins.
Mother Nature Loves Hockey
Mother Nature likes hockey. I know she likes hockey because I have seen and handled the tar that holds the oil.
Bernie Wins! Las Vegas / 6:48 pm / October 13 / 2015
My prediction — last edited 10/26/15 — Bernie will be the next US president
a note to all housemates at 11457 78 avenue
Very good, send me a note that says: “Got it” and you can have a seven dollar latte or take that much off your rent. The offer ends at noon MST, June 25, 2015. Now it’s over
Hooked on a Feeling
Boxers have left hooks and right crosses. Or is it left crosses and right hooks? Anyway, for me, there will only be one kind of hook, and that’s Charlie Taggart’s right hook. Charlie had an iron hook, the result of a boyhood flirtation with dynamite that almost blew him off the map.I will always be indebted to Charlie …
Wild Echoes
They say nothing happens in Coronation.
They are certainly not goose hunters.
Coronation is on the fly path of millions of geese that migrate between the Arctic and Mexico each year. There were a lot when I lived there in the 50s.
The French Questions
Although I have not spoken French for over 40 years, I remember all of it from junior high. (I was a child prodigy in romance languages.)
Even my French teacher said I had an astonishing approach to linguistics. Curious she flunked me. Jealous, no doubt.
Good & Grim News
“I’m afraid, Mr. Evenkeel, I have both good and grim news for you,” Doctor Smith said softly to his patient.
Evenkeel, who had been an eternal (albeit annoying) optimist most of his life, swallowed, then blinked in disbelief.
The kindly doctor interlaced his fingers, rechecked his medical charts and made…
Arrow Pounder
If you’re thinking of writing a screenplay or worse, carving out a career as a full-time screenwriter, you’re going to need an arrow pounder.
Never heard “arrow pounder” amid such notions as “plot points” and “character arcs,” have you? Trust me every screenwriter needs an arrow pounder.
